[Shams] The Spurs, Bulls and Kings have finalized a trade that will send Malik Monk and Domantas Sabonis to a spiral of crippling depression.

Mind blowing revelation

[Shams] BREAKING: The Los Angeles Lakers are trading Bronny James to the Dallas Mavericks for a stale potato chip.

Rank this backcourt

[Shams] jk guys i made it up lol

Rulenimals

[Shams] Charlotte Hornets star LaMelo Ball will be re-evaluated in one week after crashing his car into a wall.

[Shams] Lakers say Anthony Davis will be re-evaluated in one week due to appendicitis, pancreatitis, gallstones, dysentery, a perforated intestine and a fistula.

San Mateo-Hayward Bridge, California

[Shams] Following the TikTok ban, Philadelphia 76ers guard Jared McCain has organized an insurrection against the United States government.

Gallbladder rulemoval

El Granada, California

Horse rule

Hopefully this year rule

Santa deniers late post rule

balls rule

Trey Young still showing how much he hates New York

Where does this team rank all time?

Budnick rule (totally not related to recent events)

The winless-November 2023-24 Pistons to the winless-November 2024-25 Wizards

[Shams] Hornets' LaMelo Ball has been arrested for driving under the influence.

[Shams] The NBA has fined the Atlanta Hawks $100,000 for violating the league's Celtics-always-win policy in connection with winning the game on Nov. 12 vs. Celtics.

[Shams] BoSSton SSeltiKKKSS SSenter KKKristrapSS PorSSingiSS planSS to maKKKe his SSeaSSon debut tonight againSSt the LoSS AngeleSS KKKlippers, SSourSSeSS tell ESSPN. PorSSingiSS returnSS five monthSS after undergoing foot SSurgery.

[Shams] Following his murder by Tyrese Maxey earlier this week, Joel Embiid is currently in Hell being forced to miss free throws for all eternity.

[Shams] 76ers’ Paul George has died and will not return tonight vs. Grizzlies. Following Embiid's murder by Maxey earlier today and Maxey's subsequent arrest, the 76ers will request an emergency draft. Jared McCain will give further updates tonight on TikTok.