Biggest Month Yet 62k in gains: Fat HIMS Gains, Netflix Tendies, and Enough Blue Pills to Outlast a Gay Bear Orgy

Alright, you degenerate smooth-brained legends, gather ’round. I just had my fattest month in the market—$62K in gains—and I’m here to gloat like a Redditor who just discovered options trading.

HIMS: Started with 1,000 shares at $16, rode that chunky telehealth piggy up to $33, took profits, then reloaded with 2,000 shares at $24. Within weeks, turned $48K into $78K. Sold half, still holding 1,000 shares through earnings, because I expect this thing to go so parabolic it’ll need a prescription for high blood pressure.

Netflix? While you nerds were binge-watching Squid Game again, I was making money. Dropped $9K into calls, flipped them for a $19K gain, and trimmed 20 shares out of my 100 to lock in some more profits. All this inside my Roth, except for 700 shares of HIMS and the Netflix calls, because I like to keep some risk where Uncle Sam can’t touch it.

Best play of the year? RIVIAN. Scooped 2,000 shares around $12, and this thing is gearing up like a Tesla owner explaining why gas is a scam.

Total haul? $62K in gains. And with all these HIMS profits, I have so much Viagra I could go round-for-round in a gay bear orgy and still have enough left to keep the entire subreddit’s dads awake at night.

May your losses be porn-worthy and your gains be legendary.

Degens, we ride.