I’m a useless sack of shit

I feel horrible I have mid term exams and I think I’m doing well but all my grades suck rn and idk why last year they were way better and now I just feel disgusted and my whole family is talking me down for it they keep yelling at me and degrading me and they’ve already made me feel horrible and took away my boyfriend when they found out I was gay it broke me and I was finally happy recently I had friends a boyfriend I go outside I stop hurting myself and I ate food and water but now I feel like I’m about to lose every thing again and I’m scared they said if I don’t do well they take my phone away and then I won’t have my bf or my friends and I’ll be alone and sad and I’m not sure what to do anymore I just wanna die and make everyone stop worrying about me so I can finally rest and never worry someone again if I die I can be perfect because no one can blame me for my death and all I want to be is perfect