Spitballing A GAY UNCLE'S GUIDE TO LIFE

There are a lot of vulnerable young men who come to this space asking for advice. I DEFINITELY do not have the answers, but I've been thinking about what l've experienced in life and some of the little pebbles I've managed to pick up.

PLEASE ADD.

• Make people laugh. It's the most powerful currency. They'll forgive anything, even open mocking, if you make it "real."

• Treat women around you with respect. They're going to show up. They've already fought for survival. Listen to women. You'll learn.

• Friends. It's a whole ball of wax. Some friends you'll have for life, and some you can't remember from last week. It's IMPORTANT to CULTIVATE friendships, because we carry each other along. Key word is CULTIVATE, because you don't always like your friends. But you stick with them if they aren't total goobers. It's how you learn grace. Because you've fucked up too.

• Learn to respect your body. Like, it is that basic. Know how to get clean and feel clean and LISTEN to your body. SPEAKING OF - You don't have to bottom if the mood isn't right. You don't have to top. You don't have to be anything but enthusiastic and communicative and joyful in the moment, and that can take many forms. (If it doesn't feel right, get out of there.)

• Come out. Drop the weight. It's boring, and just barely optional. I'm not going to lie to you - you're coming up in hard times. But don't fucking lie about yourself. It makes a real difference in how people relate - far beyond your own circle.

• It's not "gay" to be anything or like anything. You're gay, and therefore everything is gay? (edit pile)

• Don't assume that straight men hate you. They grew up with queer brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles, too. They're amenable to making friends.

• USE YOUR VOICE. And use it to help others. You're never the most vulnerable one.

Blah, blah, anyway, it's a start.

I want to hear from the other gay uncles out there. What advice do you have? It can be banal, it can be WTF.

✌🏼