Questioning Moral Grounds: Can I Justify Stopping My (Hypothetical) Daughter from Sleeping with 100 Men in a Day?
As an ex-Muslim, I’ve spent years deconstructing the rigid moral framework I grew up with. What was once dictated by religious authority is now up to me to figure out. But sometimes, situations come up that leave me genuinely questioning what’s right or wrong in a broader, non-religious sense.
Recently, I came across the story of Lilly Philips, a woman who reportedly slept with 100 men in a single day. It’s obviously her life, her choice, and her body—but it made me think. If I had a daughter and she told me she wanted to do the same, what would my reaction be? More importantly, on what moral grounds could I stop her—or even argue against it?
As an ex-Muslim, I can no longer fall back on the religious argument of “it’s sinful” or “haram.” So, I ask myself:
Is there any real harm? If this hypothetical daughter were fully consenting, aware of potential risks (STIs, emotional consequences, societal judgment), and still decided this is what she wanted, could I really justify stopping her?
What about societal impact? Would her actions harm anyone else? Does it contribute to any broader issue (e.g., perpetuating unhealthy dynamics in relationships)? Or is this just another instance where society unnecessarily polices women’s choices?
Parental instincts and cultural baggage: Even as an ex-Muslim, I can’t help but feel that protective instinct. Is it just my leftover programming from a more conservative worldview? Would stopping her reflect genuine care or my own biases?
Respecting autonomy: At what point does my hypothetical daughter’s autonomy outweigh my own feelings as a parent? Should I respect her choices even if they make me uncomfortable?
The truth is, I’m torn. I’ve rejected the idea that a woman’s value is tied to her chastity or sexual choices. Yet, when I imagine my daughter making such an extreme decision, I struggle with the idea of standing by silently. Am I being hypocritical, or is there a way to approach this that balances her autonomy and my desire to guide her?
I want to hear from others who have walked this road of questioning morality outside of religion. Have you faced similar dilemmas? How do you separate genuine care from residual religious guilt or societal programming? Is there any secular, rational argument against something like this, or is the discomfort purely personal?
Looking forward to your perspectives—thanks for reading!