Scared of standards

I just fell into maas hysteria after seeing an Instagram video of a person exercising and being in shape.

I can't explain it how much it hurts. I'm happy for them but it just reminded how an average human reacts which time and consistency.

Even a non athletic person can potentially lap everyone.

I say this because I'm scared. It's not just exercise. It's how "fit" an average person is and how I don't compare.

I've been ill for years usually these things don't get to me. But I'm in a bad space.

The realisation..... that that's is the standard. I'm just struggling to walk, to think....

My body and heart wants so much more and this desire is going to make me implode mentally.

I'm wondering if this agony is worth it . I will endure... But everything feels so far away