Give an ultimatum without giving an ultimatum?

I’ve been a long time lurker. My boyfriend and I have been together for just about 3 years. He knows that I really want to be engaged and move forward with our relationship and I won’t buy a house or move without being married. He will say things like “don’t worry you’ll get it (a ring)” and will casually say “yeah I know I need to get you a ring”.

I casually mentioned a while back that my deadline is 3 years. I also selected a date in my head of that’s my hard deadline. It’s a little past our 3 year anniversary. However, I haven’t told him the date and won’t give him an ultimatum that says “by this date if I don’t have a ring I’m done”.

Has anyone given themselves a day to walk? How has it worked out for you?

For reference, I can’t see my life without him, but I’m also not going to be strung along if he’s not ready for marriage or taking the next level.

He also gets a lot of pressure from family saying he better propose because I’m the best thing that happened to him and he would be an idiot to let me walk. His dad even said “if you don’t commit to her and buy her a ring. She will leave and find someone who will. And you need to be okay with that”