Its a weird feeling.

There's something about these sunsets. They make me feel really sad and happy at the same time. They have this gloomy yet a very calm and peaceful vibe that leaves me into a lot of confusion sometimes..

Life hasn't been treating me well lately. Well it's always been harsh but sometimes it gets really hard to even get out of bed. There are times when I badly want to disappear. Dissolve into nothingness. Become invisible and live on mute. When I don't want anything to make sense. When i don't look for the answers and no questions bother me anymore. When I want to be non existent. Unknown. Unaware. Become an unknown particle, not discovered yet. But here i am watching another sunset, trying to figure out life, yearning to be seen, heard, known and found.

Also these lines by NFAK have been stuck in my head

"Phool ki zindagi ik tabassum sahi, ye tabassum bhi har ik ko milta nahi. Humko dekho k hum hain chaman me magar, ik zamana hua muskuraye huye."

Its almost true. We have this perfect image of ourselves in front of people but if you look closer every person is wounded from the inside. And these wounds, time doesn't real heal them, it just teaches us how to live with pain.

Moreover, if you have a loving family to spend time with, be greatful for it. Because being part of a dysfunctional family under the same roof is no fun for real. It kills you in so many ways that no happiness in the entire world can bring back life in you.

And just in case you're wondering, no it doesn't get better, you just get used to it.

Also please share more pretty sunsets pictures in comments if you have any. I'll stop yapping now 🫶✨️