What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done

Growing up without a phone or internet access, one of my favorite ways to entertain myself was to go through the french dictionary and read the definitions of words I didn't know.

One such day, I was browsing the letter "V" when I came across the word "violer". I'm 7 years old at this point, and this is obviously the discovery of the year.

The next day, I'm very excited and I share with all my friends at school this new discovery. (Note that I didn't know what rape was, for me this word meant sex, and it was the most hilarious thing a 7 years old boy could come across.)

The morning goes by pretty quickly, and at the end of the class, I turn around to one of the girls and say :

-"I'm going to "violer" you".

She's pretty confused and asks me what that means, and I happily (and loudly) repeat myself, to the amusement of the boys I shared this discovery with. But someone else had heard me, and they weren't that amused.

-"I heard what you said".

The blood drained off my face. That was the teacher's voice.

So I (stupidly) try to backtrack and argue that I was saying "I'm going to "voler" you", and that she misheard me. But she was having none of that.

At this point I'm imagining that my life is over as soon as she tells my parents, so I start crying and apologizing and wailing at the same time.

This goes on for a while. This teacher, bless her heart, finally decides not to tell anyone else about this whole ordeal and lets me off the hook.

One of those stories you remember just as you're falling asleep...