thoughts when u r under LSD

guys on my last trip i mixed 300ug with coc and moroccan hasch .i was in a ranch with some friend and luminosity and music was very tripy ,then i started having some ideas and thoughts ,i wrote down them,they were all about if i became insane?why i am always trying to impress others ?once i remembered a friend suicided i start thinking about questions and answers people have before suicide,meaning of life and why people are faking their intentions and behaviours,i analysed every single move of my friends and gave a hypthesis about them and how they think but im especially worried why i had this look about myself for being such an idiot such a jerk who talks alot who is childich and cant count on him i still have my notes ,are they reflecting really who i am or just a trippy mind?how can i use them to be a better person cuz they are very stigmatized ,are things wrotten under LSD are real???