Did I ruin all chances by reaching out?

I reached out to my avoidant ex for the 4th time in less than a month. He got very mad at me and told me to stop contacting him and that if I tried to tell his family what happened the little chances of reconciliation will be gone and he will forget I ever existed. He’s also going back home to “get his mind in the right place” and “forget me”. He told me that each time he relaxed his mind I came back to stress him out. He blocked me everywhere now and even turned off no called id.

I know it’s done and I shouldn’t hold on to any chances but maybe some delusion will help me sleep tonight.