Is it really emotional manipulation when they are truly in pain?

It is really emotional manipulation when they are truly in pain ? When they tell you they think they "may not make it through the night" when that may feel true for them and you are really the only person they are close to and need to tell someone? When they tell you that you leaving has left them "drowning" and "with nothing left". When the tell you they "love you with all their heart" and thats true to the best of their abilities?

I'm resolute in my decision to leave, for myself, and my sanity. All the behaviors I experienced that were making me feel crazy, constantly on edge, and sucked back in when I tried to leave in the past fit the model that many people have shared about their experiences. And I know I have an obligation to take care of myself first.

BUT... my ex has been supportive at times and has been working on being more supportive and less reactive over the past year. I have seen progress and them demonstrating a good faith effort to try and continuing to go to therapy. They have been financially generous at times, never physically threatened me, never cheated, never sabotaged my work deliberately, or any of the awful stories that people share here. They are a complex mix of things, including sweet, generous, funny, smart, and successful. That is why I stayed for so long.

SO... for the past month since I left, they have been emotionally devastated, isolated, telling me all the things I wrote in the first paragraph. And I'm stuck feeling split between frustration and seeing this all as emotional manipulation (the kind that has kept me from leaving before) and seeing someone truly in pain that is speaking their heartbreaking truth (even if it ignores the past, isn't taking accountability of their own actions, and lacks empathy for my feelings). The reality is it's both these things.

It's harder to navigate this when you can't hate them for doing something intentionally shitty. They keep telling me over and over again for a month how much they love me and want to support me and feel like they lost everything when I left, and I'm concerned for their wellbeing. And this stage is lasting longer than I would have guessed based on what led to the breakup. If someone else has been in this spot, what did you do? How do you frame this?