AITA for refusing to sign a prenup after marriage?
I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Boymom1505 posting in r/AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Short
Original - 27th January 2025
Update - 29th January 2025
AITA for refusing to sign a prenup after marriage?
My husband (35M) and I (33F) have been married for 6 years and together for 10 (we knew each other forever, lol). We have 3 kids. When we got married, we were both pharmacists. Two years into our marriage, my husband opened a family business with his father, and the business is doing really well.
My husband gets 50% of the net revenue and owns a good amount of money, but everything is tied up in the company, and the balance is updated every year as the business grows. His father is worried that if we ever get divorced, I’ll ask for half of the business’s money, so he wants me to sign a document relinquishing that right.
For context, we’re Muslims, and in Islam, the woman is entitled to what was agreed upon prior to marriage in case of divorce. For me, that amount is around $120,000, and our house is already 50/50, so I wouldn’t ask for anything more. However, I don’t want to sign anything. I feel my husband should trust me when I say I would never ask for half of his share ins the business.
I also pointed out that his dad didn’t ask his mom to sign such a document, so why should I have to? So, AITA for refusing to sign this?
Comments
Studious_Noodle
If you're in the US I'd tell you to consult a lawyer immediately. This is not something you should have to handle alone, or be forced into.
imasitegazer
Seems maybe the dad knows more than he is letting on, as in maybe the husband is considering divorce. Or spouse is saying it’s coming from dad to cover his motives. Unfortunately it’s not uncommon that a spouse will seek divorce after they become dramatically more wealthy.
OOP: I am in Canada, and no I have access to all the bank accounts/official documents sales and everything. My husband run his weekly goals and success every day/week month lolll sooo no. and It began with his father wanting this but now he is on board to which is making me stand my grounds more
slatz1970
Go talk to an attorney. Your husband and fil are doing a lot of behind the scenes talking. You need your person to chat (legally) with. Regardless of customs, there are laws where you live. Don't sell yourself short.
More_Good_Advice
I think he is asking because he is looking for an exit strategy. Please get a lawyer. Please go to couples counseling. This is a big yellow flag. Men who are wealthy and happy do not ask these questions
DozenBia
To me it sounds like the dad is afraid of loosing the business in case of divorce, not the husband. If suddenly OP owns 25% and wants to be bought out of the company, where all the money is tied up, they might go bankrupt assuming they'd have to sell their equipment for example.
OP says she wouldn't want that and is fine with the religious ruling of a theoritical divorce. But a family court may see that differently to ensure OPs and the kids financial wellbeing, besides the fact OP could change her mind.
OOP: yes This is it. As far as I know we are very happy and nothing is wrong we recently moved to a bigger house and he was the one to say that he wants it 50/50.(I wasnt on our previous house as I was still studying) when I told him that he should trust me he said in case of divorce things can be ugly and you can change your mind he is right in case I comaught him chrating or anything but otherwise no
Update - 2 days later
First, I want to sincerely thank everyone for their words. I truly benefited from each and every comment, and I felt so empowered reading your perspectives.
I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about what to say to my husband. He usually wakes up around 5 AM to go to the gym and have his coffee in peace before the kids wake up, so I decided to wake up with him (hello, headache all day!).
I told him that I was completely shocked when he asked me to sign this document—especially since he was actually okay with me signing it. I asked him, How can you say I’m not entitled to anything? I work my ass off from 9 to 5, then come home to cook, take care of the kids, and handle bedtime. And at the end of the month, I don’t see a penny—everything goes to the bills. Sure, he pays for our trips, clothes, and gifts, but I never ask for anything or tell him what to buy me.
Then I brought up religion. I told him, If you want to talk about religion, let’s be fair about it. Islamically, my money is my own, and you’re not supposed to use it. If that’s the case, I want every dollar I earned back—around $300K for the five years I worked.
I also told him that if he really wants me to sign, I will—but with my own lawyer. Because apparently, I’ve been too naïve and should have known better.
Finally, I told him that we were supposed to be saving together, but now he’s saying that in case of divorce, I get nothing? So what was all my hard work for?
At one point, I got really emotional and started crying because I was genuinely hurt that he thought this was okay. That’s when he hugged me, apologized, and promised he wouldn’t ask me to sign anything. He even said he’s willing to put half of everything in my name right now—just not the controlling rights and whatnot.
I still have a lot to process, and the meeting with the account who suggested this in the first place but at least for I feel heard. Thank you all again for your support!
Comments
AnakaliaKehau
I’m so happy to hear this update and hope your husband stays in your corner and stands up to his father. Good luck
OOP: Thanks me too only time will tell
Vandreeson
NTA. This is all good to hear. However, now you know exactly what your FIL thinks about you.
FunStorm6487
Hoping FIL never needs a full time caregiver
Analisandopessoas
Congratulations, you acted maturely and were spot on.
OOP: honestly If it wasnt for this community I wouldnt be able to do it this way. I dont talk to my parents when my husband and me fight becasue they will take my side especially when things like this happen so I prefer to discuss with stargers. You really put everything into perspective. How I didnt save a penny from my work, how I am raising the kids and everything so really thank you
Fancy_Association484
We are sure there is no mistress?
OOP: for now yes! I mean as I said never say never. my husband and I weree high school sweetheart and he did cheat on me at some point when we were young but never again so maybe he is back to his old self? time will tell and how the next few day unfold
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
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