It's baffling that those who want empathy for addicts don't seem to understand how the addict damaged others' lives

I tend to be in spaces that have further left individuals on the political scale and whenever addiction comes up, people stumble all over themselves to say that we should empathize with the addict but they cannot understand why those of us who have to deal with the fallout of addiction aren't so empathetic anymore. It's all fine in theoretical debates but in real life, it's not so easy.

I turn 30 next week and am the caregiver of a mother who's a shell of who she was. She has alcoholic dementia, no short term memory, no ability to care for herself, etc. This came from years of heavy drinking, not eating, etc. I am forced to grieve a parent I no longer have, that no longer knows how old I am, does not have any emotional intelligence.

I'm sorry, but I have very little empathy anymore in this regard. I obviously would always treat addicts like people in a healthcare setting but I immediately think of the children/partners/etc of people who are repeatedly relapsing, hospitalized and requiring help.